There are rumors that The University of Iowa is trying to offer Dove yet more time in the canoe (say about twenty-five years or so -- it seems that it is either this or be forced to accept the General Electric Chair). While this may be shocking to some, those who know him will not find this surprising. He has recently achieved a breakthrough in the personal front; like many other tenured professors, but much earlier than most, he has been successful in severing the time-honored older/wiser connection. 1
Dove has recently enjoyed teaching the benefits of using puns and good spelin in sceintific writin -- puns and examples of good spelling often pop up like crabgrass on a putting green in his writings. (For more examples, look at "Deckinsery of Arts an Ciences" by Linnaeus. William Clark made use of this on his trip in 1804.) The case for using good writing technique is most easily made with nontechnical prose, but a case can also be made for technical writing. Technical writing often attempts to paint a picture, and this effort is sometimes made easier with the use of puns.
Some people (certainly not Biomeds or Electricals, but Mechanicals?) often have difficulty reading such literature. If the story is too long, they usually quit reading - it seems that their lips easily become fatigued. It is similar to the trouble that one has teaching them mathematics - they often can count to only fifteen (I understand that one shoe lace is usually knotted).
An example of the enhanced picture painted by the use of puns comes from Michael Cunningham from Woodridge Illinois. He writes "It was hot as jalapeño outside, the smog hung in the air like bits of pepper on three-day-old cottage cheese, and the Condiment Police, after extricating themselves from one pickle after another, were running late in their effort to ketchup with a bad egg named Sal Sodium who was armed to the teeth and who was stalking a gorgeous tomato for the twenty-four carrots on her finger, so they slipped into their flack jackets with relish before moving in on a salt with a deadly weapon." Another example comes from Janice Estay, of Aspen Colorado, who wrote " `Ace, watch your head!' hissed Wanda urgently, yet somehow provocatively, through red, full, sensuous lips, but he couldn't, you know, since nobody can actually watch more than part of his nose or a little cheek or lips if he really tries, but he appreciated her warning." 2
Dove is married to Mary Beth Lapis (though in public she often denies it), a nice lady who works at Rockwell-Collins as a design engineer working on commercial avionics. He and Mary Beth have two daughters who, at times, are required to report to the police authorities. However, this is not such a problem now that Dove has invented the often-useful VCRS (Velcro Child Restraint System that works well with carpets, or carpet-wound flag poles.
Footnotes:
2 From the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest of putrid prose, 1996. Edward George Bulwer-Lytton opened his book "Paul Clifford" with the phrase, "It was a dark and stormy night." Estey's entry won the grand-prize. Cunningham won the award for the best detective novel opening line. The contest is sponsored by San Jose State University, Department of English.
